


This Turned Out Awkward (you think so?)

by coldphannie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldphannie/pseuds/coldphannie
Summary: Prompt: You stare at your crush, in your head you describe how beautiful he is. He turns around and catches you staring at him, he walks towards you, sits beside you then proceeds to recite word for word how you described him in your head…Or the one where Dan is not gay, but Phil's thoughts are interminable.





	This Turned Out Awkward (you think so?)

**Author's Note:**

> umm hello so this could be a completely terrible idea so let me know if this perks your interest??

He breathes in relief. It’s done.

He steps back and almost regrets it, but it’s too late. The bell rings three times before he wipes the moisture against his jeans from his trembling hand. It’s time for class but his legs wont drag him to the science labs. Not yet. He’s staring at the notice board lest he made a mistake. His name is there. Yep. Phil Lester. By his own doing. Last week, Dan Howell announced that he was in charge of organizing the cultural fair, and now he’s questioning whether or not it was a good idea to jump so eagerly to volunteer.

Whatever it is, he concludes there’s no going back. He’ll have to deal with the consequences, he knows, but all he can think about is the likelihood of interacting with Dan Howell. He darts to class in a mix of excitement and nerves.

* * *

There he is again, rousing the butterflies in his chest. He’s sat, waiting for Louise to finish class, and Dan Howell is in the vicinity. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. Doesn’t want to eat lunch without his friend. Dan’s drinking casually from the bubblers, moving with more grace than usual. He wipes a swift hand from his mouth to reveal his one sided dimple. Phil can’t help but feel his heart race. He doesn’t know why Dan, of all people, is so attractive to him, but Louise finds it adorable. He’s kind of glad she’s not here yet, but at the same time he’s internally screaming for some emotional support. Dan Howell’s leaning against the drinking fountain, and never before has he wanted to grab his stupid fringed face as much as right now.

He knows it’s silly, and Louise always hugs him in flat comfort. It bothers him how she concedes with such ease, like she knows he doesn’t have a chance. He tries not to make it obvious how he feels. He doesn’t want to know. She has these instincts, though, a switched on friend radar. Or maybe she can read him like a book. In fact... he kind of wishes she were here. He looks up and his gut leaps up to his throat. Dan Howell is coming this way.

Red alarms are ringing at the front of his mind but all he can think is shit he’s coming this way whatdoido. Dan plops onto the grass before him, and his eyes are too warm and earthy for this world.

“So you want to grab my ‘stupid fringed face’, hey?” Dan says before adding a smile.

He feels his whole life crashing down before his eyes. Burning. Turmoil. The flames licking up and rising to his face. What the actual fuck.

Dan squints his eyes a bit before continuing, “I’ve never been told my eyes were earthy before. Hm. Strange.” 

His smile almost seems demonic at this point, and Phil’s body jitters at maximum capacity. All stations occupied. This can’t be happening. Can Dan read his fucking mind?

“Yes.”

He jerks out of impulse. He’s ready to collapse to the ground, the underworld, to accept his place in hell. It’s over. His life. His schooling career. Everything. His cheeks are burning mad with embarrassment. All that can come from his mouth is a weak, “I-I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. It’s kind of endearing, actually.” Dan fingers at his own lips, and even now Phil can hear his heart running wild. Dan widens his eyes. “Oh. Sorry, but... I’m not actually gay.”

Phil should’ve known not to get his hopes up, but just can’t help but slacken in defeat. “Oh.”

“I’m flattered, though,” Dan adds quickly, and lights up in a way to make Phil lament. “Your thoughts have helped me on one or two occasions.”

“That’s good, I guess?” He pauses for a moment. “Can you like, switch off my thoughts now? Like, it’s great you’ve told me and all, but I’d kind of like some privacy back.”

Dan almost winces. “I can’t.”

His face burns up. “Are you serious? Can’t you find, like, someone else’s mind to meld with or something?”

“I can’t,” he repeats. “It’s like, I can’t help it. And it’s only you, anyway, for some reason. Trust me, I don’t know why, either. No offense, but I would have stopped a long time ago if I could.”

Phil grasps at his temples. “Oh god, I don’t even want to know how long. This is the worst. What am I supposed to do?”

“Hey, you’re not the one receiving it all.” Dan frowns slightly.

“Sure,” He groans through his palms. “But I’ve got this lifetime sentence and mortification is on its name.”

Dan laughs, and he wishes it didn't sound so sweet. “It’s not that bad, seriously,” he says, glancing at his surroundings. “Don’t worry. I, uh, should be going now anyway. I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” he says, regrettably. “See you.”

Phil slumps into the grass once he’s gone, an arm slung over his head. Tears never felt so hot.

 

* * *

 

He realizes halfway through his last lesson that fuck, he signed up for the cultural fair preparations. It's the worst idea he's had since he thought swallowing fish flakes would turn him into one. No, it didn't, and it was gross. But this is sickening and this classroom is too hot especially with black spotting his vision. It's probably too late, he knows, but he regrets it. There must be something he can do. Just the thought of Dan Howell, in his presence, it's almost  _inviting_ him to invade his thoughts, embarrassing as they are. He wouldn't be able to deal with it. 

It's then when he decides to remove his name from the poster at the next possible opportunity. He silently begs any deity out there to lay mercy on him. If he scribbles his name out before anyone of importance can see it, he can breathe. He doesn't know how he'll explain the dilemma to Louise, but he's hoping she'll accept the fact that he's moving on from Heterosexual Howell. Maybe she'll relax into that _more so realistic_ decision, yes, and then they can forget about it. 

He beats the rush of students in the early moments of the school bell, intent on the noticeboard. Mr. Kendall is there, and his heart sinks.

"Ah, hello Philip. It's nice to see your involvement in school activities. I don't believe I've seen it before, ha-ha, am I correct?"

"Yes, sir." He dips his head, struggling to disguise his shame.

"I'm looking forward to your participation." He smiles ear to ear. It is everything but good news to Phil. "I heard young Howell has some intriguing plans in store."

"I think so, sir," he says, uneasy.

Mr. Kendall unpins the flyer, folding it into his palm. "I'm off to print these in the records. You have a nice day." He walks off.

Phil wants to claw his face off. There's nothing left he can do.

 


End file.
